Wednesday, June 10, 2009

When a bottom becomes a switch

Image from

What is it that changes a person who was strictly a bottom to a switch? I started out as a bottom and when a person asked me if I would spank them, I agreed mainly out of curiosity. Now I am probably about half and half. I have been asked how I decide if I am going to spank or be spanked. There are a lot of things that will affect which side of the paddle I am on. There are people who I only am spanked by, there are those who I spank, and there are those who I can spank or be spanked by. Sometimes it is my mood. I may not feel like giving up control or I may have played with someone else already and am not physically able or ready to do so again. The same can be true for topping, if my hand or shoulder is sore from too much topping, chances are I will more likely to be interested in being spanked than spanking someone else. There are also certain words or things people can/do say that will instantly create the mood for me spanking someone or being spanked by them. I will also react to non verbal signals, a look, body posture clothing or even reputation. The psychological pull can be the strongest. The psychological significance of a situation can dictate interactions even more strongly than anything else. This is probably the biggest factor in why many male switches don't let it be known that they were switches. For many people the thought that someone who is spanking them could behave been spanked by someone else can ruin the chances of them being able to spank some women. In many relationships one or the other member of the couple takes on the role of the dominant or spanker and the other takes on the role of the spankee or submissive. If the spankee knows that the top is being spanked or especially if the bottom sees their top being spanked, it can ruin the whole balance, due to the psychological effects and the loss of "power" that the top then holds. For me that hasn't been a problem with my top. I actually switch with him sometimes and I have watched him being spanked as well. For me it doesn't take away his power. It is more like a switch for me, I am either in top mode or bottom mode and whether someone has been spanked or not doesn't affect my ability to enjoy a spanking from someone.
It is not just about smacking someones butt. For me it is sense of power that it gives me. The ability to just give someone a look and they know they are in trouble. It is being able to use different implements to send different messages and give different sensations. It is the trust placed in me by the person who is allowing me to spank them. Those are all things that have made topping interesting to me.

Now when I am the one being spanked it is the feeling of release, being able to trust another person and put myself in their hands. It is that stomach churning feeling of "being in trouble" and having to pay the stingy price. It is the sting of my bottom after the spanking and the warmth that stays from a well reddened bottom. It is the sense of relief that comes from having "endured" the spanking.
Spanking is an interesting thing. There are so many levels of spanking from light erotic play to a severe caning that is true punishment meted out by courts in Malaysia. There are people who spank for fun, as is the case for me. There are those who follow a lifestyle of domestic discipline where one member of the relationship dispenses discipline for acts that are deemed against the rules. All spanking that is part of a healthy interaction should be consensual and both parties should understand what it is that the other is looking for from the experience. Spanking can be a wonderful and enjoyable experience or it can be terrifying and a horrible experience. It is all in the hands of the participants.
As I have been told, switches are just greedy, they want it all. They have many more options and a wealth of different experiences that is both rewarding and enjoyable. I am glad that I was introduced to both sides of the paddle, for each has it's own rewards and challenges.


Angeles said...

Hello, you have a very nice blog here. I wonder if you like exchaneg links betwen our blogs. Let me know

Best regards.

My blog is: Spanking Photo Blog

Nisha said...

sure that would be fine