Friday, March 28, 2008

Want vs Need

When is a spanking needed and when is it just a want. There are the domestic discipline couples who it is a need when the discipline is due. Outside of that when is it just something that a spankee wants and when is it a need. Also what does that need/want entail.

What is it that a spankee wants out of a spanking? This varies from person to person. There are the people that want the ceremony of the spanking, the scenario so to say. The emotional anxiety of the scolding and maybe corner time to think about what is to come or what came before. Some people want/need the scenario, or the spanking is not full fulfilling/meaningful. For those people the scenario would be a need. For others it just adds to the atmosphere and then it would be a want. Some may only need the threat of a spanking and not actually the spanking itself.

As far as the spanking itself, when does a spanking become a need and not just a want. I would say that when the desire begins to invade everyday life, daydreams at work, while driving, or at inopportune moments. I would say then it is turning from a want to a need. When it starts interfering with your everyday life.
The there are the types of spanking. Is it a light spanking with the scenario/story that is needed, the feeling of not having control? Or is it the actual pain related to a more painful spanking, with or without the scenario.
For me it is the spanking itself. I need to feel like someone else is in control, even though if I want it to stop, it will stop. It is the feeling of the implement or hand connecting with that tender bottom flesh that takes my breath away. The sting that I always seem to be able to forget by the time the spanking comes (no matter how soon that may be). By the same token I need to feel safe and know the person who is doing the spanking to be able to get the same level of fulfillment from the spanking. Does that mean that spankings at parties aren't fun? No, those spanking just serve a different purpose.

1 comment:

ssj said...

For me, the need is fulfilled on several different levels. First, sometimes I need to be punished and then forgiven. That goes for general behaviors and specific incidents. Second, the need is for closeness, touch, and a feeling of caring. Third, the need is for mutual trust from both the -er and the -ee. I never feel closer to someone than when I am being spanked (or spanking someone).