When a bottom becomes a switch

Image from vintagespank.com

What is it that changes a person who was strictly a bottom to a switch? I started out as a bottom and when a person asked me if I would spank them, I agreed mainly out of curiosity. Now I am probably about half and half. I have been asked how I decide if I am going to spank or be spanked. There are a lot of things that will affect which side of the paddle I am on. There are people who I only am spanked by, there are those who I spank, and there are those who I can spank or be spanked by. Sometimes it is my mood. I may not feel like giving up control or I may have played with someone else already and am not physically able or ready to do so again. The same can be true for topping, if my hand or shoulder is sore from too much topping, chances are I will more likely to be interested in being spanked than spanking someone else. There are also certain words or things people can/do say that will instantly create the mood for me spanking someone or being spanked by them. I will also react to non verbal signals, a look, body posture clothing or even reputation. The psychological pull can be the strongest. The psychological significance of a situation can dictate interactions even more strongly than anything else. This is probably the biggest factor in why many male switches don't let it be known that they were switches. For many people the thought that someone who is spanking them could behave been spanked by someone else can ruin the chances of them being able to spank some women. In many relationships one or the other member of the couple takes on the role of the dominant or spanker and the other takes on the role of the spankee or submissive. If the spankee knows that the top is being spanked or especially if the bottom sees their top being spanked, it can ruin the whole balance, due to the psychological effects and the loss of "power" that the top then holds. For me that hasn't been a problem with my top. I actually switch with him sometimes and I have watched him being spanked as well. For me it doesn't take away his power. It is more like a switch for me, I am either in top mode or bottom mode and whether someone has been spanked or not doesn't affect my ability to enjoy a spanking from someone.

It is not just about smacking someones butt. For me it is sense of power that it gives me. The ability to just give someone a look and they know they are in trouble. It is being able to use different implements to send different messages and give different sensations. It is the trust placed in me by the person who is allowing me to spank them. Those are all things that have made topping interesting to me.

Now when I am the one being spanked it is the feeling of release, being able to trust another person and put myself in their hands. It is that stomach churning feeling of "being in trouble" and having to pay the stingy price. It is the sting of my bottom after the spanking and the warmth that stays from a well reddened bottom. It is the sense of relief that comes from having "endured" the spanking.

Spanking is an interesting thing. There are so many levels of spanking from light erotic play to a severe caning that is true punishment meted out by courts in Malaysia. There are people who spank for fun, as is the case for me. There are those who follow a lifestyle of domestic discipline where one member of the relationship dispenses discipline for acts that are deemed against the rules. All spanking that is part of a healthy interaction should be consensual and both parties should understand what it is that the other is looking for from the experience. Spanking can be a wonderful and enjoyable experience or it can be terrifying and a horrible experience. It is all in the hands of the participants.

As I have been told, switches are just greedy, they want it all. They have many more options and a wealth of different experiences that is both rewarding and enjoyable. I am glad that I was introduced to both sides of the paddle, for each has it's own rewards and challenges.

The London Tanner world headquarters

When I was in Florida, on vacation, I had the privilege of visiting the headquarters for the London Tanner. I was amazed at the quantity of quality products that come out of the production headquarters. Walking into the production area the smell of leather and leather dye is a feast for the senses of any lover of leather. Ian had just finished the last touches on the last implements for a box set which were hung to dry. All the items are hand cut, stitched and dyed. There is no automation anywhere, which is why the quality is so high. When the process for creating a product becomes automated or machined it can lose a lot in the translation. Some things may be better or more consistent with a machine making them such as rims for a car or some metal working or etching, but for leather that is going to be smacking my behind, a product that is lovingly created by hand for maximum sting with beveled edges that aren't going to cut is always going to be my choice!

The London Tanner has a wide variety of implements from the not so severe to the down right ouchie versions such as the viper or prison strap. I love to hate them all. Some I love to hate more than others. The prison strap is one of my favorites, although only in the hands of someone who has a very controlled swing. There are two versions of the prison strap, the Arkansas prison strap and the Canadian prison strap. I am partial to the Canadian version. It seems to be heavier and thus stiffer and easier to swing for me when I'm topping. Also as a bottom the Canadian is thuddier, which I am partial too.

We have one of almost every type of strap the the London Tanner makes. I go through cycles as to which one I like the most and which one I hate the most. All of them can get my attention and hold it as well. When I first started playing I was scared of leather, but after experiencing the London Tanner spanking strop, at my first Shadowlane party, I started my collection of leather.

New spanking blog

I ran across a really good spanking blog for females spanking males. There are listings for female pro-doms, interviews as well as other tidbits. It has a wonderful search function as well. There is even a link for those who want to live the lifestyle and not just play.

For anyone interested in females spanking males this is a very interesting new blog.

fmspankingworld.com

Entertainment vs Abuse

In a book I'm reading the main character had just watched the torture of two kidnappers, who were selling children into slavery. The character is one who is named by some as "pain bearer". She is aroused by her own pain, but pain in a very controlled environment through flogging etc. Another of the characters says "it is a long way from playing with silken ropes and deerskin floggers" The book is Kushiel's Avatar, the author Jaqueline Carey. It is an interesting book for anyone who has a spanking fetish. The series starts with Kushiel's Dart.

Someone once said to me "How could you want to be spanked that is sick?". That is where the quote from the book really comes into play for me. Spanking as a fetish, from my point of view, is a far cry from abuse or torture.

For those who do not understand the spanking fetish they think of the canings in Shanghai, whippings on shipboard or even punishments as children. Any of those could be scenarios for play, but if those participating are responsible, it will never go into abuse or turn into something that is beyond the players limits. For those who play at punishment there are safe words involved. The limits of the players may be tested, but should never crossed. That is the difference between abuse and play. The one being punished, is the one in control. To those watching it may not look that way, but if the one being spanked says stop (uses their safe word) the play stops.

Spanking as a fetish is for enjoyment, whether that comes through mild or more intense pain, chastisement or verbal banter, it is a controlled event. When it moves out of that zone it is no longer play and the participants are not being responsible. That is not to say that for some, the level of play is much more severe than others are comfortable with. Each person needs to play at their own level and make sure that those they are playing with know what that level is. It is better to ere on the light side than find you have crossed the line. That goes for both spanker's and spankee's. Both players have certain limits that they don't want to cross. You shouldn't ask anyone to go beyond what they are comfortable with.

Spanking graphics

For those who like spanking graphics there is a new site that launched for females spanking males . It has some 180 graphics with all female tops in varying styles. The graphics are done in varying settings. Some are more domestic, like the one here while others are more non traditional.



The graphics are all very well done for those who like graphics with females spanking males it is a rare treat.

The site is FmSpankingArt.com

Wood Therapy

Do you need some wood therapy?

That is a loaded question. I heard that the other day and yes of course I could say, but at the same time in the context of having been being a brat, that could be a very hard spanking indeed. So they answer was yes and no. Yes I was being a brat because I needed a spanking, but the thinking part of me was saying no, that is going to hurt. ..

Ah well for those of you who are spankees and love it, you know that feeling of dread and anticipation that fires the soul. That spark of fear mixed with delight.

When that first strike falls on bare skin and the pain blossoms and flows through you to your core. If the spanker is good and can read you, someone who knows and understands you, that ride can be a painful delight. It is a ride that someone who isn't drawn wholly to spanking never can understand. Someone who is a talented spanker is an artist. The spanker can touch the depths of your soul and set you free. By the same token a spanker who missuses that power can bring a spankee to the depths of destruction.

For some it is wood that touches their soul, for others it is leather, while for another it may be the touch of the hand that is the key. For me that call changes and for the one that knows me the best, he knows what call to make and how far to run, carrying me along in a river of bliss mixed with the pain in my bottom. A pain that brings relief and comfort with his stern hand.

You know you are in trouble when

When do you get that feeling in your stomach? When I say that feeling I mean the feeling that some people call butterflies, others call sinking in the pit of the stomach. Is it when you hear the words "march yourself downstairs right now". Could it be the dreaded " Drop your pants and bend over" Or is it simply when they get that look on their face or pick up an implement.

For me it can be any/all of the above. Or it can simply be if I hold an implement and know I will hand it to him later for hisuse. For some people that feeling is a feeling of dread for others like myself it is more a feeling of anticipation.

When he is going to spank me he always has that certain look in his eye as he reaches for my arm or shoulder to steer me to where I will be getting spanked. Sometimes I go oh so willingly, but others I will be squirmy or fussy. It doesn't change the inevitable, except that if I am mouthy or too fussy it may make the spanking longer or harder. That is what makes it fun to do sometimes. It is a matter of walking that line between the lighter and harder spanking. It varies what will bring on that harder spanking. Sometimes I get a harder spanking than I was trying for, but that is the risk I run. If I say I don't want one I won't get one though. So that being said if I don't say that, I will get what he feels I have coming!

I also know I'm in real trouble and the spanking is going to be a hard one when he pins my legs down. I guess he doesn't want to get his hand kicked, or maybe he is just looking out for my welfare and doesn't want to accidentally hit a wildly flailing foot.