Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Spankings in the outdoors

I have always had a fantasy of being spanked outside while hiking. I got to do that once while we were hiking. He brought along a pocket paddle. This is a small paddle that conveniently can fit in a back or front pocket. When we found a larger rock just off the path and no one else was around I was told to drop my shorts and bend over. I then got paddled right there. It was more thrilling and embarrassing because it was a well used trail and I didn't know if someone was going to come up and see me in this position.

The fact that no one came by while the spanking was going ion didn't lessen the feeling of embarrassment. A couple did come by shortly afterwards and I had to wonder if they heard what was going on. I'm sure my face was red at the time. I hope to be able to do it again though.

Migrating Implements

Ok what can I say..for some reason implements keep migrating from the nightstand drawer or the playroom into plain site. I just can't help myself, when they are in the drawer they don't get used as often as when they are around the house in plain sight. I can't say I like having the implements used on me that find themselves migrating out of the drawer or up from the playroom, but there is a strange need that compels me to move them where they will be used.

He asks me why I do it and I can't give him a satisfactory answer, it's usually "I don't know". That doesn't usually bode well for what happens next, as they are usually then used with fervor, for the "I don't know". I tend to put paddles, hairbrushes and canes out. There must be a part of me that needs that more forceful psychological feel, that wood brings with it. It just has a more domestic feel to it for me. A strap does too but not quite the same. Leather is more forgiving, although it can be just as painful..take for example the ruler strap or the viper tongue taws.... can you say ouch.

The spankings that follow this implement migration are usually painful in a very stingy my bottom feels like it is on fire sort of way. Afterward though I am always wearing a smile, along with that feeling of contentment that comes from having someone who cares about you give you what you need, even when during the actual spanking you are thinking "why on earth did I put this out again?" I really don't forget what it feels like, that is the part that gives me butterfly's and sometimes makes me put it away again before it gets found. It is a test of wills. Can I leave it out and deal with what comes or will I put it away and be disappointed that I didn't get the spanking I needed?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

When a bottom becomes a switch

Image from

What is it that changes a person who was strictly a bottom to a switch? I started out as a bottom and when a person asked me if I would spank them, I agreed mainly out of curiosity. Now I am probably about half and half. I have been asked how I decide if I am going to spank or be spanked. There are a lot of things that will affect which side of the paddle I am on. There are people who I only am spanked by, there are those who I spank, and there are those who I can spank or be spanked by. Sometimes it is my mood. I may not feel like giving up control or I may have played with someone else already and am not physically able or ready to do so again. The same can be true for topping, if my hand or shoulder is sore from too much topping, chances are I will more likely to be interested in being spanked than spanking someone else. There are also certain words or things people can/do say that will instantly create the mood for me spanking someone or being spanked by them. I will also react to non verbal signals, a look, body posture clothing or even reputation. The psychological pull can be the strongest. The psychological significance of a situation can dictate interactions even more strongly than anything else. This is probably the biggest factor in why many male switches don't let it be known that they were switches. For many people the thought that someone who is spanking them could behave been spanked by someone else can ruin the chances of them being able to spank some women. In many relationships one or the other member of the couple takes on the role of the dominant or spanker and the other takes on the role of the spankee or submissive. If the spankee knows that the top is being spanked or especially if the bottom sees their top being spanked, it can ruin the whole balance, due to the psychological effects and the loss of "power" that the top then holds. For me that hasn't been a problem with my top. I actually switch with him sometimes and I have watched him being spanked as well. For me it doesn't take away his power. It is more like a switch for me, I am either in top mode or bottom mode and whether someone has been spanked or not doesn't affect my ability to enjoy a spanking from someone.
It is not just about smacking someones butt. For me it is sense of power that it gives me. The ability to just give someone a look and they know they are in trouble. It is being able to use different implements to send different messages and give different sensations. It is the trust placed in me by the person who is allowing me to spank them. Those are all things that have made topping interesting to me.

Now when I am the one being spanked it is the feeling of release, being able to trust another person and put myself in their hands. It is that stomach churning feeling of "being in trouble" and having to pay the stingy price. It is the sting of my bottom after the spanking and the warmth that stays from a well reddened bottom. It is the sense of relief that comes from having "endured" the spanking.
Spanking is an interesting thing. There are so many levels of spanking from light erotic play to a severe caning that is true punishment meted out by courts in Malaysia. There are people who spank for fun, as is the case for me. There are those who follow a lifestyle of domestic discipline where one member of the relationship dispenses discipline for acts that are deemed against the rules. All spanking that is part of a healthy interaction should be consensual and both parties should understand what it is that the other is looking for from the experience. Spanking can be a wonderful and enjoyable experience or it can be terrifying and a horrible experience. It is all in the hands of the participants.
As I have been told, switches are just greedy, they want it all. They have many more options and a wealth of different experiences that is both rewarding and enjoyable. I am glad that I was introduced to both sides of the paddle, for each has it's own rewards and challenges.

The London Tanner world headquarters

When I was in Florida, on vacation, I had the privilege of visiting the headquarters for the London Tanner. I was amazed at the quantity of quality products that come out of the production headquarters. Walking into the production area the smell of leather and leather dye is a feast for the senses of any lover of leather. Ian had just finished the last touches on the last implements for a box set which were hung to dry. All the items are hand cut, stitched and dyed. There is no automation anywhere, which is why the quality is so high. When the process for creating a product becomes automated or machined it can lose a lot in the translation. Some things may be better or more consistent with a machine making them such as rims for a car or some metal working or etching, but for leather that is going to be smacking my behind, a product that is lovingly created by hand for maximum sting with beveled edges that aren't going to cut is always going to be my choice!

The London Tanner has a wide variety of implements from the not so severe to the down right ouchie versions such as the viper or prison strap. I love to hate them all. Some I love to hate more than others. The prison strap is one of my favorites, although only in the hands of someone who has a very controlled swing. There are two versions of the prison strap, the Arkansas prison strap and the Canadian prison strap. I am partial to the Canadian version. It seems to be heavier and thus stiffer and easier to swing for me when I'm topping. Also as a bottom the Canadian is thuddier, which I am partial too.

We have one of almost every type of strap the the London Tanner makes. I go through cycles as to which one I like the most and which one I hate the most. All of them can get my attention and hold it as well. When I first started playing I was scared of leather, but after experiencing the London Tanner spanking strop, at my first Shadowlane party, I started my collection of leather.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

New spanking blog

I ran across a really good spanking blog for females spanking males. There are listings for female pro-doms, interviews as well as other tidbits. It has a wonderful search function as well. There is even a link for those who want to live the lifestyle and not just play.

For anyone interested in females spanking males this is a very interesting new blog.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Entertainment vs Abuse

In a book I'm reading the main character had just watched the torture of two kidnappers, who were selling children into slavery. The character is one who is named by some as "pain bearer". She is aroused by her own pain, but pain in a very controlled environment through flogging etc. Another of the characters says "it is a long way from playing with silken ropes and deerskin floggers" The book is Kushiel's Avatar, the author Jaqueline Carey. It is an interesting book for anyone who has a spanking fetish. The series starts with Kushiel's Dart.

Someone once said to me "How could you want to be spanked that is sick?". That is where the quote from the book really comes into play for me. Spanking as a fetish, from my point of view, is a far cry from abuse or torture.

For those who do not understand the spanking fetish they think of the canings in Shanghai, whippings on shipboard or even punishments as children. Any of those could be scenarios for play, but if those participating are responsible, it will never go into abuse or turn into something that is beyond the players limits. For those who play at punishment there are safe words involved. The limits of the players may be tested, but should never crossed. That is the difference between abuse and play. The one being punished, is the one in control. To those watching it may not look that way, but if the one being spanked says stop (uses their safe word) the play stops.

Spanking as a fetish is for enjoyment, whether that comes through mild or more intense pain, chastisement or verbal banter, it is a controlled event. When it moves out of that zone it is no longer play and the participants are not being responsible. That is not to say that for some, the level of play is much more severe than others are comfortable with. Each person needs to play at their own level and make sure that those they are playing with know what that level is. It is better to ere on the light side than find you have crossed the line. That goes for both spanker's and spankee's. Both players have certain limits that they don't want to cross. You shouldn't ask anyone to go beyond what they are comfortable with.