Topping

Image from Colorado Spankers

Topping is a very different experience than bottoming. It is also has a different type of responsibility. As a bottom it is your responsibility to keep the top appraised of your play level. If you are uncomfortable or experiencing more pain than you want. I am not in a domestic discipline relationship, so all of the spankings for me on both sides of the paddle are for fun.

As a top you are responsible for being aware of the bottom and how they are doing. You are the giver in this position. You want to give the bottom a good experience. It is important to discuss with the bottom before playing what type of spanking they are looking for. Once the spanking starts you want to stay aware of how the bottom is doing. This can be determined through body language, sass level and safe word. You should never use an implement that is not acceptable to the bottom or an implement that you don't know how to use or are not comfortable with or have not felt (for those that only top, that means at least on a hand or thigh).

It is important to know how an implement is going to react. Different straps react differently as do different cane types. Some straps are more likely to twist and so need to be used with a fast swing which is more intense. Some canes are more pliable and so are more likely to wrap because they have more flex. You also need to understand the reach of both canes and straps, because wrapping either type of implement or using it improperly or out of the target range will not endear you to the bottom you are playing with!

What does the top get out of the interaction. For me it is about being able to give the bottom what they need. It should be an enjoyable, if painful, experience. It is fulfilling as a top to be able to do that. It is also a feeling of accomplishment to be able to have control over the implements that you use, being able to use them at different intensities to give the bottom the feeling that they are looking for. It is also a feeling of power given to you by the bottom.

Some bottoms will only ever bottom, some tops will only top and some of us will experience both sides with all the joys and pains found there in.

The punishment jar

I am always thinking of new reasons to get spanked....Hmm do I even need a reason...

I liked the idea of the punishment jar. I just used it a bit differently. I was playing a computer strategy game and a stone went in for each of my characters that died. There are three colors of stones: clear for hand, light colored for strap and dark colored for wood. The problem with the game is the armies were large and so I ended up with an overflowing jar 8)

I didn't pick the stones based on color I just grabbed them and put them in the jar without looking at the color (that was for fate to say). Since there ended up being several hundred stones in the jar by the time I was done I got the spankings over several days.

To decide what the penalty would be for the day I got to shake some of the stones out of the jar. If I was feeling brave, or feisty, it was more. The implements used were his choice based on the color of the stones. So it could be anything from a lightweight leather strap all the way up to the prison strap. The same was true of wood, it could be a lightweight paddle or big heavy paddle. It depended mostly on if I was being sassy or being well behaved.

I loved the anticipation and the resulting warm tingle in my bottom, but the during that was something else!

Why is it that I always seem to forget the extent of what the during feels like? The thing I remember is always the butterflies before and that warm contentment afterwards. I guess that explains why I am always looking for ways to get a spanking.

Want vs Need

When is a spanking needed and when is it just a want. There are the domestic discipline couples who it is a need when the discipline is due. Outside of that when is it just something that a spankee wants and when is it a need. Also what does that need/want entail.

What is it that a spankee wants out of a spanking? This varies from person to person. There are the people that want the ceremony of the spanking, the scenario so to say. The emotional anxiety of the scolding and maybe corner time to think about what is to come or what came before. Some people want/need the scenario, or the spanking is not full fulfilling/meaningful. For those people the scenario would be a need. For others it just adds to the atmosphere and then it would be a want. Some may only need the threat of a spanking and not actually the spanking itself.

As far as the spanking itself, when does a spanking become a need and not just a want. I would say that when the desire begins to invade everyday life, daydreams at work, while driving, or at inopportune moments. I would say then it is turning from a want to a need. When it starts interfering with your everyday life.

The there are the types of spanking. Is it a light spanking with the scenario/story that is needed, the feeling of not having control? Or is it the actual pain related to a more painful spanking, with or without the scenario.

For me it is the spanking itself. I need to feel like someone else is in control, even though if I want it to stop, it will stop. It is the feeling of the implement or hand connecting with that tender bottom flesh that takes my breath away. The sting that I always seem to be able to forget by the time the spanking comes (no matter how soon that may be). By the same token I need to feel safe and know the person who is doing the spanking to be able to get the same level of fulfillment from the spanking. Does that mean that spankings at parties aren't fun? No, those spanking just serve a different purpose.

When to Switch

When in a relationship with a switch, how do you decide when to switch?

There are many methods for deciding when to swicth. I know people who swicth on specific days, people who decide spur of the moment by mood. Others who do it randomly by drawing cards. For me it seems to be a combination of random and semi scheduled. My favorite is a little red octopus massager that migrates from bedside table to bedside table. Whoever has it get's the spankings. This is something we use for fun. The person who is the spanker is the one who get's to move it. Since it seems that all true switches can't live without their spankings for very long t tends to migrate often. Now if it ends up anywhere else, then either of us is fair game for a spanking.

Spankings for both of us are a fun activity and not for discipline purposes. That however doesn't mean that the spankings cannot be a discipline scenerio. There are hard spankings and playful spankings. It seems I like the more stern toned spankings for home and the more relaxed one at parties. For me it is hard to get the same head space with someone I play with only rarely.

It is a wonderful thing if you are a switch to be able to find another person who you can switch with both ways. That is something that is difficult for many people to understand. When switching most people will only top or bottom with any given person. For many topping someone who they also bottom to, makes lose some of the power exchange that would be there if they only bottomed to them. That is the same the other way around as well. It can be embarrassing for someone who has been topping an individual to suddenly be the one getting the spanking from that same individual.

New Years Eve

The year was coming to an end and I actually had the day off. That meant spankings galore :)

With the end of the Christmas season I get more time to spend at home and am not so exhausted. Although for some reason I am much more tender these days, probably since I haven't been spanked as much because work has been interfering. I have come to have a reputation of being able to take hard spankings, but now even his hand stings and makes my bottom tingle. So he has been enjoying the fact that he gets a much better reaction with much less work.

Now that doesn't mean that he doesn't use the hairbrush or the paddles anymore. He has a lot of fun bringing those out and watching my reaction. I guess the fact that I still ask for it, might have something to do with it too.

I wanted to end the year with my bottom feeling the thunder of the fireworks and he didn't disappoint me. I brought him different implements throughout the day. It is a good thing we have a large toy chest. There are favorites, or at least ones I love to hate! there is the Nu west hairbrush, the bath brush, my new wolf strap, the prison strap, the domestic discipline strap, the school paddle and many others. The toy box was definitely well used with time in between the spankings to give my bottom time to lose it's glow. Then I always brought something again. He just shakes his head and says you know this is going to hurt.

Ah well what can I say, when the cravings are upon me I have no recourse but to follow. Good thing I have a good play partner who looks out for me and doesn't let me get in over my head.

It was a wonderful new years eve that I felt for many days to follow. You know you have been well spanked when a soft car seat make you gasp when you sit down the next day. Good thing a work standing up!

Hope you all had as great a New Years as I did.

Christmas

The new spanking novels lay on the table in front of me along with other helpful items like a foot massager, but the item that has my full attention is the new wolf strap. There are wolf paw prints on the strap and a howling wolf on the handle. The stiffness of the thick new leather bring a tingle to the pit of my stomach as I know it will soon be used on my bottom.

I was not to be disappointed as shortly there after I was bent over the kitchen counter receiving a taste of the new strap. Being a thick strap it has a thuddy and stingy feel. I do love it, both for it's looks and the feel of it.

That was not to be the last of my spankings for the day, but one of the first. I got strapped, paddle and hand spanked. There were hair brushes and small stingy strap ( the ruler strap ) as well as large attention getting straps ( the prison strap ) among other items.

We didn't have to go anywhere for Christmas as both our families live out of state; so we had a relaxing day that kept my bottom rosy, warm and tingly. A perfect celebration of the giving and receiving spirit of Christmas. It may not be the way most people celebrate, but it definitely kept me smiling and content all day long and for days to come as well!